The Affair
Monday brought sadness, despite it all. Despite the fact that I knew it would be brief, and that I knew exactly what would happen - even to the extent that I had told her from the beginning how it would all play out, and that there were no real surprises for me - Monday still brought sadness.
To mark the actual beginning would be hard, almost impossible. I had seen her, liked her from the start, and set out to make sure she would be a part, albeit a small part, of my life. And yes, it was unfair. Unfair not only on her boyfriend, but more importantly, on her. I had the experience to charm, entertain and intrigue her from the onset, whilst she was still untouched by the likes of me. Innocent and beautiful, she was prime picking for anyone who could see she was not being treated as well as she deserved.
Here though, lay the gaping flaw in any plan I could derive. Basically, no matter how intricate my methods of attracting her attention, there was no way I could offer her any sort of future. I could offer her excitement, fun and more than a little danger, but I knew there could never be a future in it, no matter how much I wanted her.
The first night she stayed was Thursday. We slept little, and knowing she had the Friday off work, it was nearly impossible to get out of bed and go myself. But it was Friday night when I told her how things would go. She disagreed of course, and I just shrugged and said "maybe".
Saturday was brilliant - just me and her, with all the time in the world for each other, though come the evening we had to be more careful at the function we were attending.
We slept, cuddled around each other, until late on the Sunday. The start of the day was somewhat melancholy, but when our friend collected us and took us to his place we perked up. I cooked some food, nothing was held against us, and we could relax together.
We both had a restless night that night, despite cuddling for hours. We both knew that Monday was imminent, and it would bring us both problems.
We saw each other only briefly throughout Monday, and when I picked her up in the evening it was already apparent that things were not good. We drank tea in silence for a while, before she told me that I had been right. The brilliant weekend was over - it was time to face reality, and she had to go home. Promises were made to carry on seeing each other, and though I hoped beyond hope that things would be so, I knew that it would not be so easy now. Too many people were suspicious, and whilst I stood to gain everything, there would only be pain for her. All too soon, it was time to let go.
And so Monday night, a night which had held such promise only a few nights previous, was instead spent with an old friend - a friend who would never say "no", yet was no real friend of mine.
Now that bottle is half empty - which is more than can be said for the flat - which is cold and completely empty without her.
